...and Mama is a nervous wreck. Actually, I've been trying not to think about it. I wouldn't say it's going all that well at the moment. The surgery center called to go over all my instructions, I talked to my nurse about some med questions, and everything is ready to go so we can walk out the door at 6:30 in the morning. The kids will have to go with us so Matt can drop me off, take them to school, and then come back to wait for me. We should be all done and home by 10 AM and then I plan on sitting my butt on the couch for the rest of the day.
I figured out why my anxiety level is crazy high at the moment. I think it's because right now I have something to hope for and I'm optimistic that it will work. I'm terrified of having that ripped out from under me. I know we can do a frozen cycle if this one doesn't work most likely and that eventually with enough time and money we will be able to have a baby. I just have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea that it might not work. My doctor seems optimistic and there's no reason to believe it won't work, but there's not anything else we can do to increase our odds at this point. I'm just afraid of not having that hope to hold on to. I know from everything we did to get Madison that once you have a failed cycle you lose some of that ignorance where you think things will work out fine. Ignorance truly is bliss sometimes.
Praying, praying, praying that all goes we'll today and before long you'll be parents again! You both deserve this!
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