Playing the Odds

This is always the part of ivf that makes me have doubts about this whole process. My retrieval is scheduled for 15 days from now. The shots don't bother me, the chance of having twins no longer scares me as much, and the pain of retrieval doesn't cross my mind. It's the paralyzingly fear that this won't work. I can't do this again. I can't and I won't. I'm scared to death that I will go through all of this and not get my baby. This is a complete numbers game. Each fresh cycle has about a 50% chance of working. Each frozen cycle has a 20% chance of working. I've had both fail. There is a 50% chance this will work, but that means there is a 50% chance it won't. My doctor says my odds are probably a bit better because of my age and having 2 children already so he puts me around the 70% range. I have had my share of falling on the bad side of the numbers game, so it should be my turn to be on the good side this time. Too bad it doesn't work that way...