Christmas Gifts

For Christmas I got Matt this and it is awesome! It yells at me if I don't weigh in and it tells me fat mass/muscle mass. It automatically sends the information to the app on my phone and our account that we have set up on the website. It's total accountability and accuracy. Just what I need.  Oh and I think Matt enjoys it too. :) I didn't even think I would like it, but I thought he would love it because it's a cool fitness gadget. It was nice to realize that we both enjoy it and it motivates both of us!

I'm also waiting for new hoops and DVDs to come sometime soon. The lovely Jen is sending me some new mini's and the mini's DVD and I ordered a travel hoop from Hoopnotica as well because 8 days in Vegas was far too long to go without my hoop. I'm so excited. I have some of the most amazing women teaching me and encouraging me along the way and it's so nice to have that support. It's also nice to have a daughter that LOVES her hoop as well so I'm constantly encouraged to get better and better. I have to get better so that eventually I can teach her something instead of the other way around. 

If someone had told me a few years ago that I would have trouble getting in all the workouts I want to do, I would have laughed at them. I can't seem to figure out how to run, hoop, lift, kickbox, swim, and take the various other classes that peak my interest. There are seriously not enough hours in the day. There is a new boxing gym right down the street and it is calling my name. I'm not sure how long I can hold out before I walk through those doors. I also know that once I walk in, I will love it and want to spend every free moment there. What can I say, I really love boxing and kickboxing. I've often thought about training but Matt doesn't want me to get hurt competing. I really do want to train though even if I don't ever compete. Soon. Very soon. I have to see what classes are going to be like this semester and then I can dive head first into something like that. :)

Yep. Agreed.

Vegas

What is it about Vegas and it's millions of delicious food choices that makes me forget everything I know and I lose all self-control? We'll just say that this trip to Vegas was NOT a success on the food/diet/exercise front. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's the worst I've eaten for a long time. Now that we are home I'm regretting just about every single thing I put in my mouth during this trip. Alas, there is not a damn thing I can do about it and I'm going to hit Whole Foods tomorrow to restock our kitchen with healthy foods and just keep going. That's the difference between who I used to be and who I am now. I used to go on vacation and come home weighing 5 lbs more and I would just give up. I'd say that I just couldn't do it and the cycle would continue. Now it's just a bump in the road and I learned from it and am moving on. What's the point in stressing about it and hating myself for it? I'm just not weighing in until after I've worked out hard all week. It's going to take many hours in the gym to make up for the calories I consumed. That's what I plan on doing. I don't intend on seeing a fabulous number on the scale when I weigh in. I do however plan to keep moving in the right direction and not let one week determine my success. I can make up for one week of bad choices by correcting them now. Onwards and upwards I suppose.

Getting Stronger

I've noticed with my last few workouts that I've gotten stronger. My run times are getting better and my weight lifting routine is getting easier. I'm adding more strength, building more muscle, running a little faster, and focusing a lot more. It's not just a physical change, it's just as much a mental change. I believe in my body and what it can do. I'm pushing myself harder and challenging myself. I know what I'm capable of and I know what I want. I only have one body and unfortunately I spent a lot of time abusing it and not treating it well. I ate foods that weren't really foods, I drank alcohol,  I didn't step foot in a gym until I was 24 years old. I took infertility medication, pain medication for endometriosis, and high blood pressure medication for 2 years after giving birth to Madison. I have starved myself, worked out so hard that I would throw up, and did anything I could to be as thin as possible. I started with good intentions and a healthy mindset, but by the time I hit 140 lbs (which is a size 4 for me…) I wasn't trying to be healthy anymore. I was trying to be thin. When I would talk to people they would say, "how much more do you want to lose?" and I took that as I was still fat and needed to lose more weight. That's what we call an eating disorder. But I didn't see it. I just wanted to be thin.

As Matt and I were talking last night I realized what I survived the last 18 months or so. Some things that I am in no way ready to share or discuss. But I survived. In the end I still have an amazing man by my side and 2 gorgeous kids who make it easier to heal. Being thin isn't my ultimate goal anymore. Being healthy and strong is. Being thin will come with that. You can't be healthy and strong and overweight. The weight loss with come with good health. But don't get me wrong, I have a closet full of clothes in size 4/6 that I can't wait to get back into. It will happen. Preferably by summer when I have nothing bigger than a size 8 to wear to the beach. :) I've stocked up a whole St. John wardrobe over the last few years that is just about perfect for a 8 day stay.

Reading…For Fun!

Lately I've been reading anything and everything I can get my hands on about diet and nutrition. I want to know the reasons behind why fad diets became fad diets and what is going on with our society that most people are overweight. After lots of reading about diets that are insane and have no scientific reasoning behind them, knowing what works for my body, and learning the basics of nutrients and environmental things that lead to weight gain, I am ready to come back from Vegas and get this whole family eating better. I believe that the basic eating plan that I have been doing is what works well for me and gets me the nutrients I need when I need them. The problem is incorporating this eating plan into recipes and making sure that I'm getting enough of everything I need for the workouts I love.

The basic idea of clean eating is what I plan to continue for the rest of my life. When everything in the house is gone, there will be no more processed food brought into this house. If I won't eat it because I believe it hurts my body, why would I give it to my children? Of course this also means I have to spend a lot more time grocery shopping and cooking. I love the Jillian Michael's theory that if it doesn't grow from the ground or have a mother, you probably shouldn't be eating it. Natural carbs (whole grain oats, fruits, starchy vegetables) are for earlier in the day, and protein and green veggies are for afternoon and evening. I'm not a night eater so this actually works well for me. I'm eating my carbs right before and after my workouts so my body has energy that it needs to power through those 2 hours.

In the last month I have doubled some of the weights I'm lifting. If I was lifting 10 before, I'm doing 20 now. If I was pulling down 50 before, I'm doing 85-100 now. My muscles have been recovering well and I almost never hurt after a workout. I run some, do the elliptical some, and hoop every day. I got a new hoop a while back and I adore it. It's much easier for me to learn new moves on and I'm enjoying slowing things down a bit and really focusing on what parts of my body are hitting the hoop at what time. Workouts are easy for me. I love the gym and love how I feel after a workout.

My problem has never been my workouts. It's purely diet. With PCOS and insulin resistance I have to eat perfectly to lose any amount of weight. If I mess up, I gain 5 pounds. My body hates carbs and has trouble making energy from processed foods. And that really sucks because I love me some Dairy Queen and Chick-fil-A. One Blizzard or Chicken Minis and I'm screwed. At some point it is a matter of priorities though and my priority is a healthy body.

Ramblings

I'm so glad that I kicked that habit of nervous eating years ago because I would seriously put on like 10 pounds this week if I still did that. I'm going crazy. Not literally. Promise. But it's finals week and we have kids Christmas parties, Jack has a Christmas program at school, Madison has her check-up at the doctor tomorrow, normal kids activities, last minute Christmas planning, and that doesn't include laundry, dishes, making sure nobody loses their shit around here… We leave for Vegas in like 10 days. So by the end of next week I have to be completely ready for Christmas. Gifts all have to be bought and wrapped and I need to get my car cleaned out to load luggage into it for an 8 day trip. I'm so not done. I'm far too neurotic to have this many things undone so close to the holiday.

The low carb thing is going well. I'm at that point where I'm not craving it at all and I'm VERY happy with the results on the scale so far. I lost 5 pounds last week. I lost 5 pounds the entire month of November eating the same amount of calories and doing the same amount of exercise! I want to wear my cute St. John stuff for our trip and most of it is size small. That is my one and only goal. I don't care what the number on the scale is as long as I can fit in my beach clothes!

Is That a Taquito…

You know what makes me really cranky? Not eating carbs! I'm not going all crazy Atkins or anything, but after a very interesting discussion with a personal trainer about why the weight is coming off so slowly, I'm trying something that I know works well for my body. I also know it makes me very irritable and cranky for about a week. And I am eating carbs, but I'm eating them at times that make sense for my body.

Back when I did Atkins for a while, I dropped weight very quickly. And any time I have taken out a large portion of carbs from my diet I tend to lose more, but it sucks for a while. I just finished day 2 and I don't feel horrible, but I am most definitely feeling it. It's like a drug addict going through withdraw. We have all gotten used to this diet based on carbs, and not just carbs like fruit and whole grains, but refined sugars and crap. Our bodies aren't meant to process these things and in some of us (I have PCOS and slight insulin resistance because of it) we really can't process them correctly. I don't believe in eliminating anything from your diet completely. I think that sets you up for failure. I do however believe that listening to your body and taking cues on what you should eat and when you should eat it will only be to your benefit.

So here's what I'm doing…
*I usually get up and make coffee ASAP in the morning. But I gave up creamer and instead use skim milk and sugar-free caramel coffee syrup. It's the best I can do at 6:30.
*I have oatmeal as soon as I send Matt and Madi out the door.
*I workout from around 8:40-10:30.
*Drink a protein shake (found one with 40 grams of protein and no carbs!) and a add a scoop of this stuff that is supposed to help in rebuilding muscle. I can say the squats don't hurt and my arms aren't dying from pushing harder weights the last few days so I'm sold on it so far.
*I do homework and have lunch around 1:30. Today I had tomato soup and cottage cheese with Agave and was really full. I could have easily added a slice of bread or a salad but I just didn't want it.
This is where it starts to suck….
*No carbs after lunch. I think the max to consume after lunch is like 10. This allows for a little salad dressing or condiment.
*Early dinner at around 5:30 and I'm done for the day. I'm not a night eater at all. Tonight I had chicken breast with FF shredded cheese, a little honey mustard, and a ton of steamed green beans. It was actually really good and really filling.
*You can eat as much broccoli, green beans, cucumber, celery, green peppers, and such as you want. And hummus is ok! Just not late in the day. I can do a handful of almonds (like 8-10) and some celery at any point if I get hungry.

The point is to get those carbs in before a workout and teach your body to burn carbs. When you eat protein before a workout it teaches your body to burn protein, but if you eat carbs then it will burn those first and will keep burning carbs and fat for the day instead of protein. There are times when your body needs carbs. Eating things like oatmeal, fruits, honey, agave and such in the mornings are natural sources of carbs. I can also eat whole grain bread with eggs or something too. The point is to have those carbs before you workout and lessen them throughout the day.

I won't lie. I told Matt if he got a taquito at QT when we stopped for iced tea that I might possibly murder him and remove it from his stomach. I was mostly joking. Kind of…

Even though I've had my Bodybugg for quite a while, I just got my digital display today. I can't wait to try out my new toy! I've been having to just wait until the end of the day and plug it in to see what I've burned. Not anymore! Instant readings!